i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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