he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
