im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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