You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
