I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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