if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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