Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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