you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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