everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
