P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
