Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
