Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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