P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
