Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
