Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
