I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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