He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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