I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
