used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was CRYING into my vagina
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
