I just saw a hot homeless man
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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