I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
