Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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