Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
