i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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