So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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