Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
