This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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