as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
