So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
