i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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