I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
