How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
