My nipple is on Facebook.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
