is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
