and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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