yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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