I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
