ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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