Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize