I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His hands were made for my vagina.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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