I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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