You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
