Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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