I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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