chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
