Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
