the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
