Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
