No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
