I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i barfeds in our rink
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
