You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
