DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
