I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
