he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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