I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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