I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Me too!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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