why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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