I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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