i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
