This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize