I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize