ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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