i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize