just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
