i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dick very happy bro
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