She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
