i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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